Three Ways Ego Sabotages Your Growth

Are you where you want to be, doing what you want to do? In other words, are you content with your life? Do you feel fulfilled and fully present? Are you the hero of your own life?

Granted you may be tired, exhausted even, but when you go to sleep at night are you able to congratulate yourself on a day well spent, at least most of the time? Sometimes? Or do you fall asleep planning a new venture, or thinking about an ambiguous point in your future when you will…well, maybe you aren’t quite sure, but something will be different.

Or maybe you are sure. Maybe you know exactly what you want to do instead of what you are doing, and you fully plan to – someday. Or perhaps you feel that you are exactly where you are meant to be, moving along your path, but quaking in the boots you wear as you walk along.

The angels whisper to us, they provide us with inspiration, passion even, to help us find our path, and synchronicities to assist us with staying on it while we move forward in our lives. The ego, on the other hand fights for control. It prefers that we move away from the path that leads us back to ourselves and away from ego, away from its control.

Here are a few of the tactics that ego uses to control your process:

The ego preys on your sense of inadequacy and uses self-deprecation to further its agenda. It is masterful at knowing your weak points and using them as gaps to flow into your psyche in order to remind you that you are not smart enough to go back to school, or that you don’t have the financial wherewithal to start that business, or that public speaking is terrifying.

The ego voice engages you in self-talk that is typically negative in nature. It tells you that you don’t have a “math brain”, so there is no way you could master the accounting classes necessary to successfully run a small business; that in order to compete for that position you’d have to first lose thirty pounds, at least; that you’re not an artist, so taking a painting class it just too frightening. The ego-voice is commonly confused with that of your own voice.

Another way ego sabotages you is by using the S-word against you. SELFISH! That is, your ego voice will not only tell you that you are being selfish, but it will do its best to convince you. Most of us were taught as children that selfishness is not an admirable trait, which is true. But somewhere along the way the line between self-care and/or personal growth, and selfishness became blurred. Most of us (especially women) believe that self-focus and taking care of oneself is synonymous with “selfishness”. Your ego-voice will often be only the first of several voices to let you know that you are being selfish. This occurs in anticipation of being asked by those you are the closest to, “What about me?” “What about the kids, (your job,) (the mortgage)?” Because you know you will be, right? These are the questions you ask yourself before anyone else does. Only it’s not you asking, it’s ego.

Following the initial assault of the ego-voice, you have the terrain of the egos of others to navigate. The opinion of selfishness, born of the fear and insecurity of the other, is frequently posited without pretense and with much emotion as in, “You can’t be serious. You’re being so selfish!” Or, “You’re only thinking of yourself!” AND THEN, “What about…” Ego loves that. Now it can say, “Told you so.”

A third mechanism is guilt. Guilt has got to be one of the most motivating (read paralyzing) of all of the emotions we experience, and ego counts on that. Growth creates change. It’s inevitable. (Imagine a comic strip; one person speaking to another saying, “I just wish change didn’t have to be so different.” Not funny perhaps, but so true.) When your personal growth bumps into the life of another person something in that person’s life changes and when that change is met with resistance guilt is the outcome. Resistance can take many forms – anger, sadness, jealousy to name a few, but at its most basic level resistance is fear. And fear is the voice of ego. It’s a circle. It’s a trap, an ego trap.

So how do you find your path, or continue to move forward in your life? How do you avoid being sabotaged by that ever-ready ego? How do you know the ego voice from that of your own?

  • You take the time to practice quieting the chattering voice in your head in order to hear the softer, quieter voice of your heart. Your angels speak from your heart, not your head.
  • You take the time to feel your emotions. Ego-based emotions are fear-based and destructive. Angel whispers are compelling, inspiring, light-hearted. They lift you up and carry you forward.
  • You silence negative self-talk and walk away from negative input from others.
  • You listen for angel whispers and watch for the synchronicities that will lead you to, or propel you forward on your path.

How does your ego-voice influence your growth?

Angel Energy

16005325_s.jpg gold vector angel

The angels want you to know that we are always with you and are always watching over you. We never forget about you or leave you on your own…    – Journey From Ego

When one invites the angels in, life is blessed by their energy. They are always near and available to assist us in our daily life, but are able to do this only when their assistance is requested.

There is no single manner in which people will appreciate, or recognize the presence of angels. This is a personal matter and the angels will make their presence known in a manner that will be noted by each individual. For example, if a person notices or collects feathers, a feather might be found in a wholly unexpected location. Or if one is very interested in music, a song lyric may suddenly carry a new meaning, that is, it may be interpreted in a new or different way than previously. Likewise, a person who reads a great deal may come across a message in print. There is no limit to the ways in which the angels make their presence known to us. These simple examples, a feather, something unusual out of place where there is normally order, a word, a number that begins to appear frequently, are typically the initial signs that angel magic is beginning to occur in one’s life; even an unsolicited comment from a stranger.

Just as there is no single method used by angels for making their presence known to us, there is also not a specific way of inviting them into our lives or of conversing with them. “Please become a guiding presence in my life. Thank you,” will do. Or, “I ask the angels to bless my life with your presence. Thank you.” That’s it. Soon you will begin to experience angel prints.

One simple way of inviting the angels in is to request assistance with finding a “lost” item. A clear request is all that is required. “Please help me locate my/the _________. “ A time span can also be added if it is important, as in, “I really need to use it tomorrow.” And always remember to say thank you. “Please help me locate my/the _________, I really need to use it tomorrow. Thank you.” Leave this with the angels and know that it has been taken care of.

The exact manner in which an item will be recovered also varies. Sometimes when I’m looking for something in my home I will make a request and then just pause for a moment – and then act upon the first thing that comes to mind. Often I find the item where I’ve been led. But not always. Sometimes I send up a request and I get no impulse at all. When that occurs I stop looking and go on about my day. Usually within a day or two I run across the missing item in a random place, or it just seems to appear out of nowhere.

A friend told me recently that she’d lost one of a recently purchased pair of earrings, which she’d worn only a couple of times. Although she’d searched her house it was nowhere to be found so she asked the angels for help. As she was driving home after work the next day she had a sudden thought. She wondered if it might have fallen off as she was grocery shopping. She stopped at the store and asked if anyone had found an earring “like this one” as she held it out to the clerk. The clerk told her, “Oh we’ve had that here for a couple of weeks. We were hoping that someone would come back for it.” One could argue that this was simple logic, but in my experience it’s a clear example of angel magic.

When one begins to notice “angel signs” the question of how to respond, what to do next, is raised. The answer is, do nothing. There is nothing in this instance that needs to be done. Just keep noticing. The more you look, the more you will see.

Please share your experiences with angel magic in “comments”.

Practice

Avoiding the affects of the ego is similar to avoiding the wrong foods. The more you are aware of it and able to avoid it, the greater its presence will become…Practice noticing the perspective of fear before the action or reaction, and practice changing it to one of love.  – Journey From Ego

Do you believe you get what you ask for? I do. That’s why I recommend, when making a request of the universe, or of your angels, or of whatever God you pray to, that you be specific in your request. I do not recommend asking for patience, for example. Rather I’d suggest requesting patience in a particular situation, or with a particular person in a specific situation, on this day, at this time and at this place, etc. In my opinion one cannot be too specific with a request such as one for the attitude of patience. Lack of specificity in this respect lands me in a traffic jam, or on hold with Century Link for who knows how long.

I am well aware of this rule, and yet… I wanted to write a blog post, and boy was I blocked. So on my drive to work a few days ago I threw up a request to whom ever was listening. Please give me something to work with here. How’s that for non-specific?

Without going into detail let me say that the very same day I reacted to a situation in a manner that I instantly regretted. I was up close and personal with my ego in less time than it takes a heart to beat. I did not take a breath as is recommended in order to avoid these ego-traps. I did not pause. I reacted. BLAM! I upset someone. I apologized – several times in fact – but I couldn’t undo what I’d done.

A friend told me recently that the intent behind an action is more important than the action itself. I believe she was referring to something that Pema Chodron had said, and since Pema Chodron knows what she’s talking about I did my best to hold myself in that thought. I most definitely had not set out to intentionally trigger another person’s defenses, but the truth is I spent days feeling awful about my knee-jerk reaction. My heart hurt, my gut hurt.

As pausing in retrospect is better than not pausing at all, I did so several times. I sat down and took time to breath, to ground myself, to let the hurt drift through and away from me. I sat in that moment of instantaneous response to the situation I’d been in. What I learned was that what concerned me most was not my action, but the manner in which my action had upset the other person involved. Did I really believe my response was so very wrong? Actually, no. I will own that I over reacted, but that didn’t make my action wrong. I believe my response to the given situation was the right one. Should I have paused? Yep.

As a child I was not allowed to express anger, while the adults around me engaged in excessive angry discourse. I was disciplined for it and frightened by it. I became an adult who is fairly skilled at avoiding conflict, but that only goes just so far. I became an adult who is nearly as frightened by the anger and upset of others as I was when I was five. Those old tapes don’t just run out, they rewind and play all through our lives.

As an adult I have a choice. I can continue to run the old tapes, discipline myself for my perceived bad behavior, or I can practice compassion for the small child within while I stand firm in my convictions and my truth. I can listen to the voice of my ego telling me stories about what I did wrong, how embarrassing my behavior was, how I should have handled myself. Or I can hold myself in love and listen to my heart. My heart tells me that I’m human, far from perfect, but essentially a giving, loving person who intends to do the right thing. I am here to practice. I’m not what my ego insists. I am my soul, a holy point of light, as are each of you.